We have been married now, for 4.5 years, we have travelled the country, been fortunate enough to have had many many vacations and share most of our time together. I am very grateful for James and the luxuries we have been able to enjoy, I am grateful for all the friends we have made together, and all the amazing people that have been put into our lives. I’m sure that by reading up to this point you must all think I have this wonderful life filled with nothing but happiness. Well, as most of you already know, it’s not all roses and the green is definitely not greener on the other side. I get lonely and miss my family so much, and there is nothing that can replace family and true friends. I am grateful for James’ family, I am so blessed to have such a great family through my marriage and I am truly thankful for that.
In september 2010 James and I decided it was time to start popping out some kiddos, so we decided to start trying. February came and I knew something wasn’t right, I would go into detail but I don’t want to gross out the men reading this, lol, so I went to my OBGYN (gynecologist) everything was fine according to her, so she put me on clomid and progesterone supplements and I was still having the same problem. I was not pregnant, so we tried another round of clomid and a different form of progesterone. My problem was fixed that month but I was not pregnant. I knew that there was a bigger issue so I decided to schedule an appointment with a fertility endocrinologist. The appointment went well, I had all the tests done to make sure everything was how it should be and I was fine, EXCEPT I was not ovulating properly on my own, he described it as a half ovulation. So now we knew what the problem was we could start moving on to the next cycle and trying again. So we went on another round of clomid, when we started the clomid, James had a semen analysis done that came back TERRIBLE, he had a strep infection that was killing all of his sperm, so of course we did not get pregnant that month, and James had to take antibiotics for 30 days to kill that mother*. Every month that I was not pregnant I fell into a pit of depression, I cried, I panicked and I was in such despair it was miserable, and now not only was I the one with the issue, it was both of us. Once James was cured, we decided to try stronger meds. The clomid had given me ovarian cysts, so my doctor switched me to Femara (a less offensive drug on the body), and I would give myself 3 injections in my tummy over a period of 3 days, then give myself a 4th injection to ovulate, then timed baby dance 😉 then the progesterone. We had to cancel that cycle as I got a virus and was too sick. I was also so depressed from not being pregnant that I took a well needed break from worrying about anything to do with pregnancy. We would try without the drugs every month just incase, but it never happened. A year later we decided to do the last protocol but with iui (intra uterine insemination) this is where they inject sperm directly into my uterus along with taking all the other drugs. On our first attempt at this the sperm count was only 5million, that is considered the lowest number for a possible pregnancy, so not only were our numbers low, they were the lowest, so our chances were pretty dim. I was not pregnant that month, all the anxiety and depression and frustration came back and we decided to try again. This time the sperm was TWO million. 2 million is not a number you want to hear. Also that morning my sister had just informed me that my nan had had a stroke, so I was overwhelmed with sadness and dissapointment. We went ahead with it as they didn’t charge us as the count was so low, then we jumped on a flight to England and I spent some time there trying not to think about it. I was not pregnant that month and it was heartbreaking as usual. The doctor suggested IVF as with low sperm counts that is the best option. I hate western medicine and all the drugs and hormones they pump into your body, so I am trying the homeopathic route and testing out acupuncture. I have had one session so far and it was interesting. I will post more info about that another time. I am also looking into adoption, I want to be prepared and know what my options are. I am praying everyday and having faith that it will happen. ‘Good things come to those who wait’
Aside from trying to get pregnant, I have considered getting a job, moving around so much makes things very difficult. I am still unsure what I would like to do job wise but I will figure it out soon.
I love taking pictures and editing them. I recently took some pictures of Amaya, my beautiful little niece, and my friend Cassie and her beautiful girls, I will post some of their pictures up here soon. I would love to one day make a living from photography, it’s creative, it’s fun and I think I’m good at it. I am taking a one time photography class soon, so I will keep you updated on how it goes.
My little puppies, Coco and Bella, are my little companions, I love just having them here and the love they give. They make me very happy 😀
We are all moved in and ready to start this new chapter in our lives here in San Diego. I will try to update you as much as I can. I will post my photography pictures and find many other interesting things for you guys to read. I hope this didn’t bore you to death,
Thanks for reading, leave me a comment to let me know you were here
Love to you all xoxox
p.s. What do you think of this layout?